I hope I didn't wake the neighbors,
but frankly, this thing scared
the hell out of me.

I haven't screamed since my kid
popped out of the clothes hamper.
It's embarrassing!

I thought the whole thing was a dream.
But when I looked again,
I saw the beast duck behind

the maple tree. My wife
won't believe a word I've said,
and thinks,

I'm totally crazy. And here I sit,
my heart still pounding; my scream,
resounding in my head.

The neighbors called to tell me
how appalled they'd been.
Just popped another valium.

I have the urge to look again.
I tip toe to the window.
And there, beside the maple tree,

I see the beast
and notice how it
resembles me...

c. Douglas Fireman

I manipulated the original pic,
a flower in my wife's garden,
and added a touch of paint.